Shaolin student, Zen practitioner, Agile enthusiast, an atheist who’s nostalgic for his Christian days, losing sleep over the state of democracy

Political Satire

Moses watched the CPAC from heaven and was mightily pissed.

Image by André Santana AndreMS from Pixabay

In the year of our LORD 2021, Moses was looking down upon the Earth. And lo! He beheld the Conservative Political Action Conference in America.

At this, Moses’ cup ran over with rage. “My LORD!” he cried. “My LORD!”

And the LORD appeared before Moses.

“What is it now, Moses?” sayeth the LORD. “The Floridians are still praising Me for blessing them with Tom Brady. You’re making Me miss My audience.”

Like how He missed MY audience between 1941 and 1945? Moses caught himself thinking.

“WHAT?!”

“Nothing!” Moses sayeth. For he knew the LORD’s look. He had seen it many…


Politics

Why the top 1% really are to blame for society’s ills.

Photo by Jp Valery on Unsplash

Since last December, I’ve been researching the sources of Donald Trump’s rise to power. I noted how the 45th President manipulated his base with professional wrestling showmanship and how he created scapegoats to start his populist movement.

But those were merely symptoms of a larger problem. In my journey to understand the Trump voter, all roads led to income inequality.

The Lack of Social Mobility

The problem isn’t so much the top 1% controls so much of the wealth; it’s that they have made social mobility astronomically difficult for everyone else.

According to sociologist Jack Goldstone, political instability happens when the rich and the powerful…


Because the next president is poised to become Augustus

Adapted by author. Trump Tower by Pete Linforth from Pixabay. Caesar statue by 15299 from Pixabay

In a February 2021 CNN town hall, President Joe Biden said he was “tired” of talking about Donald Trump. This came days after the Republican Senate voted to acquit Trump in his second impeachment trial.

While many Americans may echo the president’s sentiment, one can’t just move on from a man like Donald Trump, not after how close he came to overthrowing democracy.

Not after how close he came to becoming this generation’s Julius Caesar.

The Next Trump Could Become Emperor

Like Caesar before him, Donald Trump has crossed the Rubicon of democratic norms more times than I can remember. He’s called a fake national emergency


How the Book of Job helps us deal with a world with no God.

Adapted by author. Photos by Hailey Kean/Unsplash & Aaron Burden/Unsplash

As a recent apostate of the church, I have a love-hate relationship with the Bible.

On the one hand, it contains some of the most inspiring passages in all of literature. The Golden Rule and the story of Jesus rescuing the adulterous woman (John 8:1–11) stand out.

On the other, it is a book that — as much as Christian apologists deny this — celebrates characters who are downright evil by today’s standards. Moses commits genocide against the Midianites. (Numbers 31:1–18) Samuel would admonish Saul for not doing the same against the Amalekites. …


Political Satire

Trump may have incited a terrorist riot, but Joe Biden plays Mario Kart

Adapted by the author. Biden by heblo from Pixabay. Mario by InspiredImages from Pixabay

*** Read this before the liberal editors on this platform take down this post and lock me in curation jail.

Less than a month into his (illegitimate) presidency, Sleepy Joe Biden has already rocked the White House with one of the most embarrassing scandals in American history.

On Valentines Day 2021, the (so-called) president has embarrassed all of us by visiting the hallowed grounds of Camp David and playing — get this — MARIO KART with his granddaughter.

Rep. Lorem Ipsum (R) of Bonneton says of the scandal, “You really have to question Mr. Biden’s judgment here. Camp David is…


Or can it restore America’s soul?

Photo adapted by author: Luke Stackpoole / Unsplash & Marc-Olivier Jodoin / Unsplash.

On January 6th, 2021, Jacob Chansley stormed into the U.S. Capitol and invoked the Christian God. He thanked the “heavenly father” for granting him and his fellow rioters the “opportunity” to punish the “tyrants, the communists, and the globalists.”

14 days later, Amanda Gorman would channel the same God while reciting her inaugural poem. She compared the American experience to Jonah emerging from the belly of the beast (Jonah 1:17), alluding that Americans had been engulfed by darkness because they had refused God’s call for justice.

This dichotomy in Christianities is but one of many battlefields in our modern-day culture…


#2: Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969. That’s why I assembled the Space Force to blow them all away.

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
  1. There’s no I in “team.” But it has an M-E. There’s also a T, which stands for Trump. And there’s an A, as in A-plus, which is the grade I deserve for my Coronavirus response. In other words, I’m the team, and I’m the best. Everyone knows that.
  2. Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969. That’s why I assembled the Space Force to blow them all away.
  3. There’s an eye in the middle of a hurricane. There also happens to be an I in the middle of the word, “hurricane.” That’s why I go over every hurricane I see…


Tom Cruise: I only liked you when you were a gay vampire

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

My therapist said I needed to let go of some baggage before I could ever start dating again. Guess that means I have to Marie Kondo all those boy crushes who aren’t sparking joy in my life.

Here goes —

Tom Cruise

Tom, we’re both clinging to the wrong parts of our past. The truth is, I only liked you when you were a gay vampire. But you insist on maintaining your career as a secret agent. We both need to grow up, Tom. I’m too old to be dating a 200-year-old man-child.

Brad Pitt

Brad, you had potential, but now I’m old enough…


CODEX

#3 Skip the Retrospective if the team really wants to.

Photo by Lala Azizli on Unsplash

Before I started working as a Scrum Master, I went through a phase where I would dread going to the Sprint rituals. When I became a Scrum Master, I found myself cajoling my team members to attend mine.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Scrum. The problem is when people take the best practices and apply them as though they’re gospel. They neglect one of the tenants of the Agile Manifesto:

Individuals and interactions over processes and tools.

Newer teams are especially susceptible to this problem. Everyone’s trying to produce results, but the team still needs to go through the…


Lessons from training under a 35th generation Shaolin disciple

Photo by Lukasz Duszak on Unsplash

When I was 32 years old, I was filled with crippling self-doubt.

I had no reason for feeling this way. Sure, I had been bullied in high school, but that was well over a decade ago. Still, I would go home every day ruminating about how I was unworthy of my blessings in life. Every night, I would lie in bed mouthing prophecies about how my girlfriend would leave me.

When my relationship did end, I quickly decided I had to change something in my life. I told myself — somewhat naively — I needed to train in martial arts…

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